Author: Mawutor Akosua Ametame

It starts like every classic love story.
Two halves.
One longing.
A desire for wholeness.
You, somewhere in life, are just waiting for them, the missing piece to your puzzle, the rice to your stew, the calm to your storm.

Ah yes… the ying to your yang.

We throw that phrase around like it’s seasoning on Sunday jollof.
“I’m looking for the yin to my yang,” we say, imagining someone who will balance out our madness, whisper kind things when we spiral, and maybe help with laundry.

But before we go searching for this magical balance in another person, let’s take a quick detour through ancient wisdom and a bit of common sense.

So, what is Yin and Yang, really?

The concept of Yin and Yang (yes, technically “yin,” not “ying,” but let’s not be grammar police today) comes from Chinese philosophy. It’s all about duality, opposite forces that complement each other.

Think:

• Night (Yin) and Day (Yang)
• Quiet (Yin) and Energy (Yang)
• Introvert vibes (Yin) and your loud, dramatic auntie at a funeral (Yang)
• Chill coke (Yin) and spicy kelewele (Yang)

You get the idea.

These forces need each other to make life balanced.
So when people say, “I need the ying to my yang,” what they often mean is,
“I want someone who won’t stress me but will also help me finish this whole life thing without me falling apart.”

But here’s the twist.
What if that person is… you?

Plot Twist: This Ain’t a Love Story

I wanted to write a romantic blog.
I really did.
You’d think I’d finally found someone who gets me, understands my need to overthink texts, and won’t judge my bad dancing.

But this isn’t about them.
This is about the messy, chaotic, inconsistent, deeply loveable human that is you,
and the quiet war happening inside.

One random day, my friend Cynthia Trinity sent me a song.
No dramatic introduction. No warning. Just a link from her Spotify playlist.
The song? “Shine Through” by GoldFord.
And listen, I thought it would be just another nice tune. Until the lyrics slapped me softly across the face.

“I see my behavior and where I go wrong
I guess it’s my nature, my head is too strong”

Ah. So it’s not just me.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever known exactly what you’re doing wrong… and still did it anyway.
We don’t need enemies. We do a solid job of self-sabotaging.

This line? It’s the inner voice catching you mid-bad decision and saying,
“Again? We’re still doing this?”

And the next line is even more cheeky:

“I guess it’s my nature, my head is too strong.”

Translation: “I overthink for a living, and my pride? It could run for president.”

It’s wild how we can recognize our patterns: fear, perfectionism, procrastination, and still invite them to dinner like old friends.

But then comes the chorus, and whew, GoldFord was not playing:

“If I can only get out of my own way
That’s when the light shines on through…”

Read that again. Slowly.

This isn’t about your ex.
Not your childhood trauma.
Not even your supervisor, who never replies to emails.

It’s you.
You are the traffic jam blocking your potential.

The Weight We Call Ourselves

“I’ve got nothin’ to lose but the weight
That made me a mountain to move…”

Weight.
But not the kind that shows up after too much food.
This is the weight of:

• Fear of failure
• “What will people say?”
• Imposter syndrome
• Perfectionism
• Past mistakes you refuse to forgive yourself for

That weight grows, silently.
And before you know it, you become the mountain you’re trying to climb.
We cry out, “God, remove the obstacle!” and God’s probably like,
“Sweetheart, you are the obstacle.”

Harsh? Maybe.
True? Absolutely.

The Real Love Story

So no, this isn’t about a lover who is good-looking and has a deep voice.
This isn’t even about Cynthia (although, shout out to her playlist game).
This is about that quiet version of you,
the one who’s been trying to come out from under all the chaos, self-doubt, and dodged responsibilities.

Maybe the real ying to your yang
is the part of you that’s been trying to shine through all along.
The hopeful you.
The brave you.
The you that shows up, even when it’s hard.
The you that doesn’t ghost your own goals.

You don’t need saving.
You need clearing.
Clearing the way so the real you can walk in like a musician on tour, unapologetic and fully lit.

Final Thought (and a Tiny Roast)

You’ve been standing in your way for so long,
you’ve probably installed furniture there.

But what would happen if, for once, you stepped aside?

You might become the person you’ve been praying for.

So, here’s the reflection question I’ll leave you with:
👉🏽 What’s one way you’ve been standing in your own way, and what could happen if you finally moved?

Not for the applause.
Not for the gram.
But for the freedom.

Because the most powerful love stories don’t begin with someone walking in.
They begin the day you stop walking out on yourself.