A Comical Guide to Dodging Hunger Pangs
We’ve all been there. You arrive at a wedding or funeral, your stomach growling louder than a thunderstorm, and the food is still hours away. Let’s navigate the tricky waters of event etiquette with humor and practical advice to ensure you never face those dreaded hunger pangs again.
The Dreaded Hunger Games
Arriving at an event hungry is like stepping onto a battlefield unarmed. Here’s why you should never go to weddings hungry… funerals too:
The Ceremony Marathon: Weddings and funerals are known for their long ceremonies. From lengthy vows to endless speeches, you could starve before the main course arrives.
The Grumbling Soundtrack: Stomach growls during heartfelt vows or solemn eulogies? It’s the stuff of nightmares. Spare yourself the embarrassment and feed that growling beast before it makes a cameo.
The Hangry Monster Lurks: Hungry guests are not fun guests. Avoid turning into a hangry monster by ensuring your belly is well-fed before the event.
Tactical Maneuvers for Survival
Fuel Up Beforehand: It’s a simple rule, yet often forgotten. Eat a hearty meal or snack before venturing into the event jungle. Your future self will thank you.
Pack Emergency Rations: Don’t leave home without a stash of emergency snacks. Plantain chips, nuts, or even a sneaky sandwich can be a lifesaver when hunger strikes.
Strategic Seating: Scout out the event venue and position yourself near the food. At weddings, aim for a spot close to the buffet; at funerals, hover near the post-service gathering area.
Befriend the Caterers: Forge alliances with the catering staff and unlock the secrets to early access to appetizers or the coveted dessert table. A charming smile can work wonders.
Tales from the Hunger Frontlines
The Wedding Crasher: Imagine the horror—a starved guest crashing headfirst into the buffet table in a desperate bid for sustenance. Don’t let this be your legacy.
The Funeral Fiasco: Mourning the loss of a loved one is tough enough without battling hunger pangs. Spare yourself the misery and ensure your stomach is adequately prepped for the occasion.
Conclusion: Enjoy the Event, Not the Hunger
In the grand scheme of things, it’s always better to be well-prepared. With a little planning and a good sense of humor, you can avoid the hunger traps at weddings and funerals and make the most of the event.
Remember, it’s not just about keeping your stomach from growling. It’s about being present and enjoying the moments without being distracted by hunger. Plus, we don’t want to add extra stress for the hosts who have already worked hard to provide for their guests. So, do yourself and them a favor: eat at home first.
Here’s to attending events with full bellies and happy hearts. Let’s keep the focus on the celebration and not on our hunger. May your next wedding be filled with love and laughter, and your next funeral be a heartfelt tribute without the tummy rumbles. Stay fed, stay content, and enjoy every moment. Bon appétit!
🤣🤣It’s the image for me. Hunger will kill you if you come to my ceremony on an empty stomach. I no send you.
Let then know o!
😂🤣 I like the part that you have to befriend the caterers, that’s a sure way of getting a lot on your plate and get the attention of others.
This is a good post and a lesson we should remember. Eating at least something small before events saves you from disappointment. I have been to events where no meal or refreshment was served, I saved myself from disappointment because I had already taken in something before going for the event. 🤣😂.
It’s funny o especially at funerals. How do you get mad food has not been served when you’re there to mourn the dead.
The strategic seating part is very important… 😂 beautiful write up..
Thank you Tilly!
Wonderful piece 🙌🏻🥰
Thank you Lawrenzo!