Author: Mawutor Akosua Ametame
It started with a WhatsApp status.
Agyeiwaa had posted a screenshot from an article. I think it was from Substack. I can’t remember the exact words, but the message was clear:
Self-awareness isn’t always a superpower.
And me, being me, I responded almost immediately.
Me: “Self-awareness is a superpower ngl!”
Agyeiwaa: “Yeah, but her take on it makes so much sense. It isn’t always a superpower.”
Me: “Righhhhtttt…”
Short exchange. Nothing dramatic. But it did something to me. It stayed with me the kind of thought that quietly taps your shoulder long after the chat ends.
Because for the longest time, I’ve worn self-awareness like armor. It’s what people often point out about me. They say, “You’re so aware of your patterns, your emotions, your state of mind, it’s refreshing.” And I believed that. I still do.
But then I remembered something else: a moment from a meeting I had at work with my support agent, Cynthia. She was reviewing my performance and mentioned something that stuck.
She said, “You know what I’ve noticed about you? Even when something’s not going well, and I ask what happened, you always know.”
I laughed. Because it was true.
She’d ask why my performance dropped in a particular week, and I’d already have a list:
“Yeah, I know. I was mentally drained. I felt disconnected. I was overwhelmed and didn’t manage my time well. I think I also wasn’t feeling confident in the tasks I was assigned…”
I would go on and on, not to make excuses, but because I had already unpacked it. Because I saw it. And maybe that’s what made her pause.
It was a compliment. But it also raised a mirror. One I wasn’t fully ready for.
The Power in Self-Awarenes
Let’s be fair. There is power in self-awareness.
It keeps you from gaslighting yourself.
It helps you say no when your body says no.
It tells you when you’re running on empty and when you’re giving out of fear, not love.
It helps you call yourself out without destroying yourself in the process.
You don’t ghost people and pretend they were the problem; you know when you pulled away.
You don’t spiral without context; you know the root of the thought that tipped the scale.
And in a world that rewards fake confidence and loud ignorance, being self-aware is rare.
And yes, sometimes, it feels like a superpower.
But Agyeiwaa’s status… and Cynthia’s observation… made me sit with the other side of it.
Because this superpower?
It comes at a cost.
The Weight of Seeing Yourself Too Clearly
Self-awareness doesn’t always save you.
Sometimes, it just means you get front-row seats to your own unraveling.
You can watch yourself make a bad decision in real time and still feel unable to stop it.
You can name your patterns but still fall into them.
You can know your wounds and still let them lead.
You can understand your triggers and still feel trapped by them.
You know exactly when you’re over-functioning to prove your worth.
You know when you’re shrinking because you feel too much.
You know that the relationship isn’t love, it’s familiar chaos, and still, you stay a little longer.
And the worst part?
You carry all of that knowledge quietly.
Living Under Constant Self-Surveillance
Being self-aware means you’re not just in your life, you’re watching it from the outside, too.
You’re the narrator and the main character. The therapist and the patient.
You catch every nuance, every shift, every misstep. You pre-empt how you’ll be perceived, even before you speak. You reflect so much you start to fold in on yourself.
You can’t switch it off.
Even your joy gets edited:
“Am I being too much?”
“Why did I laugh like that?”
“Did I over-explain again?”
And the moment you start to feel peace, your brain runs a diagnostic check:
“Wait, is this real or is this just another survival response?”
You see yourself too well.
And some days, you just don’t want to know.
The Curse of Always Being the One Who “Knows”
There’s this unspoken pressure that comes with being self-aware:
If you know, then you should fix it, right?
But healing doesn’t move at the same pace as knowing.
And sometimes, the knowing just makes the hurting sharper.
People expect you to always be okay, because “you get it.”
But understanding the fire doesn’t make it burn less.
Knowing why your heart is tired doesn’t make it beat easier.
Sometimes, you wish you could just blame the weather like everyone else.
Sometimes, you wish you could just be wrong and not know better.
But you do.
You always do.
Zooming Out: The Universal Truth
So yes, self-awareness can be a superpower.
But it is also a burden.
A mirror that reflects too clearly, too often. A light that never goes off.
It makes you better, but it can also make you tired.
It helps you grow, but it can also keep you stuck in your head.
Still, if you’re one of those people who sees yourself truly see yourself, you’re not broken. You’re awake.
And in a world that thrives on pretending, performing, and projecting, that’s a radical, sacred thing.
It’s okay if your awareness sometimes overwhelms you.
It’s okay if you know, and still mess up.
It’s okay to long for rest from your own mind.
Because while self-awareness may not always feel like a superpower…
It’s still the beginning of every transformation that’s worth having.
And not everyone dares to start there.
I feel this deeply. There’s beauty in self-awareness but also this quiet ache that comes with it.
Hmm… this message touch me deep. E true say sometimes when you sabi yourself too much, e fit make you dey think too much. Your mind no dey rest. But e no mean say you dey mad or something wrong with you. E just mean say you dey awake. For this world wey everybody dey form or pretend, if you fit see yourself real-real, e be blessing. No be every transformation easy, but na there e dey start , from knowing yourself. So if e dey heavy sometimes, no worry. Na sign say you dey grow.
✅️💯